Acceptance...

I'm getting there.  Day by day...a little at a time.  I wish I didn't fight it.  I wish I had the strength to not hold on to things that are gone for so long.  I wish I were stronger...had more faith in myself...had the strength to let go of the things I can't change.  While I wish my life were different than it is now...wishing isn't going to change my reality.  I know it takes time for acceptance to settle in...it just frustrates me sometimes how long it can take to get to that point. 

I had a nice talk with my cousin Beth last night and several chats with my friend Cheryl and they helped me feel better about things in general...about my choices...about my feelings...about my fears.  And they help me understand this odd sensation I have of time marching both quickly (I'm getting older and each day more precious) and slowly (accepting the inevitability of my divorce) at the same time.  I am so lucky to have people to help me through this and love me despite my whining/crying/ranting. 

Another timely, excellent quote in the Zen calendar today:

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."

     -Buddha

And to leave you with a smile...here's a picture of my three nephews...love these little dudes!

Comments

[cheryl mezzetti]

I looked up the word acceptance, not because i don't know the meaning but because acceptance is one of the those words you take for granted.

Main Entry: ac·cep·tance
Function: noun
1 : an agreeing either expressly or by conduct to the act or offer of another so that a contract is concluded and the parties become legally bound
2 : the quality or state of being accepted or acceptable
3 : the act of accepting : the fact of being accepted : APPROVAL
4 a : the act of accepting a time draft or bill of exchange for payment when due according to the specified terms b : an accepted draft or bill of exchange

You will heal in time...i promise you that. In the meantime i have an ear for listening anytime you need it.

love you